I only knew “Stacy and Aaron’s mom” for a short time, really just this past year. I call her that because I was raised never to call elders by their first names, and somehow, even at my age, I couldn’t bring myself to call her Diane. So I just found ways to call her Stacy’s mom, like I was ten years old. We shared a common lineage as women who earned our doctorates at Stanford, and I think that created a bond that only people who went there can understand. I think she liked me just a little bit because of that. I first really heard about Stacy’s mom when Stacy told me she was planning a trip to Patagonia despite her illness. I thought that was the craziest thing I had ever heard. A few months later, I finally met her when Stacy brought her to Equinox for a massage while Stacy and I went to yoga. She was already small and thin, and her illness was clearly taking its toll. But what I remember most were her eyes and the spirit that radiated from them. And suddenly, the trip to Patagonia made perfect sense. Her attitude wasn’t so much “I’m going to beat this” as “I can’t be bothered with this illness. I have a life to live.” And somehow, that was even more powerful to me. Just onward. Stacy, fix me up. Aaron, fix me up. I’ll fix myself up. Onward.

The last time I saw her, I came to Holmdel to pick up Stacy. And there was Stacy’s mom, making sure I had a bag of nacho chips for the ride home. She was thinking about us, but I also had the distinct feeling that she was perfectly fine and ready for Stacy and me to get on our way so she could get on with whatever she had to do next. Onward. I feel so honored to be even a small part of this family. We all need inspiration in life, and Stacy’s mom gave me something I will carry forever:

I can’t be bothered. I have a life to live. Onward.

Words can’t express the sadness we feel with Diane’s passing. We are fortunate to have wonderful memories of our decades of friendship. From simple things such as fridays at Freddie’s, barbecues, soccer games, Red Bank fireworks to trips and celebrations. She was a very generous person who opened her home to Mark and Joe for their wedding and the pool house to Laura, Kyle and his older kids when we had an infestation of bed bugs. She was a very special person and a special friend. She was genuinely a good person who cared about her family, friends and community. She raised two wonderful children who were so committed and supportive of her.

To all of us who were gifted to have known Diane,

The problem with being fortunate to be among living toward a ripe old age is that as we age, we either join the list of those who pass, or we survive and share the loss of more and more of those we care about. I am sitting here at my computer, tears in my eyes as I type this – it’s a dreary day, the mountains here in Colorado outside my windows are sheathed in clouds (as if in mourning) and it’s raining mixed with melting falling snow in the 37-degree weather (as if shedding tears with me)!

My own feelings of loss are mixed with wonderful memories of Diane and her strong will and courage, as she joins those on the other side of the veil, leaving us with our grief and our fond memories of friendship, love and shared days long past.

My heart and condolences go out to you all, Diane’s friends, and especially to Diane’s loved ones and family!

With my sincere gratitude for having shared some bit our lives together, I bid you Farewell Diane Sheng! May your memory be a Blessing!

We still find it hard to believe that Diane is no longer with us. We visited her at Riverview Medical Center on Sunday, just four days before her passing, where she was recovering from surgery and had moved into rehab. She was alert, cheerful, talkative, and full of life. It is heartbreaking to think that just days later, she is gone. Our careers at Bell Laboratories paralleled each other, and, on a personal level, we raised our kids together. She was equally a role model in her very successful career as well as in her dedication as a mom, and she was a great friend. May her loving and gentle soul rest in perfect peace. Our heartfelt condolences go to Stacy, Aaron, David, and the entire family.

I have so many Diane stories but here’s one I regret not thanking her for more sincerely because even now it stands out as a measure of her devotion as a friend. During the last 9 months of my mother’s life, she was in a long term care facility, too weak to come home. That meant I was visiting or working on organizing her care almost daily. One day Diane and Dee called me up and said, “stay home, do something for yourself, we’re going to visit your mother today”. I had not asked for that nor hinted how stressed I was. But it was the best gift anyone could have given, and no one else ever offered it during that time. No fanfare, no explanation, no mention of it to others. Just being there as a friend. Her friendship was very precious to me.

Diane,

Happy Birthday and congratulations on reaching such a momentous milestone (we should know, since we both reached it before you!!). It’s so great to think that our friendship has stood for almost 43 years (almost half a century!), and we have the opportunity to share this moment with you. 

We hope you are enjoying your new home – we are excited to see it when we visit you in July. Could you ever have believed when you started your career that you would actually be living at Bell Labs (although it may have felt that way when you are putting in those long hours at work!)?

Anyway, we wish you all the best and hope that your birthday is everything that you wish.

Love,

Jackie and Wale

Happy Birthday, Diane!

A lot has happened since those crazy 1970s, and a lot has changed. Some things haven’t changed, though. You’re still the exceedingly smart math nerd I met at Bell Labs in 1976. You still crave adventure and the sporting life. You still possess more strength and integrity than practically anyone I know. And you’re still my friend for life.

I wish you nothing but the joy you so richly deserve on this special occasion. I wish we could be there to celebrate with you, but that will just be an excuse for another dinner (and drinks, and red face) in a few months. I hope you’re enjoying the celebration with our two incredible kids and Corey and Lesley, and with your newest student, the irrepressible Naijah de Dios Tarver.

All the best!

David 

(with Kishna, Nadiyah, and Honey!)

I don’t know what Diane was talking about in 1975 when we were living together in Trailer 24X. She was an ultra-focused grad student and Amy and I were our usual dedicated senior students, especially during spring quarter. 

Always looking out for Di’s best interest, we took on the added responsibility of helping her attain a better Work-Life balance. Amy and I were Psych majors after all, so it was our field of expertise. 

Diane would hit the books all weekend long. Studying 24/7 was a solitary endeavor. Having a few drinks at home on a Saturday night could actually relieve stress and be academically beneficial. But Diane resisted all efforts to alter her strict work regimen. After all interventions were rebuffed, drastic measures were required.  Even without her consent, medication had to be administered. 

Diane was very health-conscious and oranges were her go-to snacks. An orange, injected through the peel with a vodka-filled syringe was deemed to be the perfect cocktail to ease her addictive studying behavior. We were wrong. Even a second consumed ‘screwdriver’ failed to repress her deep-seated impulses to study. 

Our Stanford psychological experiment failed to show that Diane Sheng’s internal drive could be impeded or diminished, even when pharmaceutical stimulants were introduced. The subject‘s will to learn was steadfast and unwavering. Our study did prove, however, that two other main hypotheses were true: Alcohol consumption does cause her face to turn red, and Diane was a very tolerant and forgiving roommate. 

                  🎁 Happy Birthday Diane 🎁
                            ❣️❣️ Tracy❣️❣️

Amy, Diane and Liz 

Trailer 24X

Diane, Tracy, Amy and Mike

Diane and Tracy